Poor Man's Pizza

We all know pizza is like sex; when it's good, it's great, and when it's bad.. it's still pretty good. But, even if you sustain yourself on frozen pizzas from your local grocery, you'll still have to shell out at least six bucks per pizza. Well, here's how you can enjoy delicious pizza on the cheap!
What you'll need:
    1 box crackers
    1 bottle prepared sauce
     Cheese of some sort
     Step one; lay your crackers on a plate, very close together.
     Step two; spread sauce on your crackers.
     Step three; add the cheese of your choice in shredded form (optionally, add toppings. A ritz cracker is the perfect size for a pepperoni, after all)
    Step four; microwave for a minute or so until cheese is melty.
    Step five; Put the plate in your freezer or refrigerator for 30 to 45 seconds to help things cool and solidify a little.
Enjoy, my friend.    

One eyed Jack to the Rescue!

    England has given the world a lot of great things: but their food is widely regarded as not being one of them. Most of it doesn't even sound appetizing (toad in the hole, bangers and mash, Shepard's pie). Yet somewhere along the line, they cranked out one of the world's best breakfasts; the imposingly named One Eyed Jack.
    Here's what you will need to make this low budget meal.
        1 egg
        1 slice of bread

     First, put a skillet or frying pan on the stove and put it on medium. While you wait for it to heat up, toast your bread. Using a spoon or something, take a circular chunk out of the middle of  the bread. I don't care what you do with it. Personally I just butter it and eat it normally.

      Next, put the bread on the stove and break one egg, pouring its contents into the hole. When you see the whites of the egg sponging into the bread and turning solid, flip it. When you think it's ready, pull it off the stove and enjoy. Depending on what kind of bread you use, you can enjoy a dozen hot meals for around three dollars. Bon Appetit.